My Legs Can Suck It

Three days left of an insane 7-day volume overload period. Unlike many triathletes who prefer to start their weekly training blocks on Monday, I start on Sunday. Why? Because Sunday is long run day, duh! I like to start a new weekly training block with a long run, as opposed to finishing that way, 'cause it just seems right. Only this particular week I am shaking everything up a bit, and I'll tell you why later. I'm not divulging the details of this block yet 'cause I am not done 'till Saturday. But I will say that it will be (and is already becoming) the hardest training week of my life, volume-wise. I am exhausted, insanely sore and know that I'm gonna have to rely on mental strength to finish these last several sessions. My legs can suck it! I don't care how they feel now, this week I am proving to myself that I am capable of what I believe I am. Following weeks will be filled with intensity and all that, but this week, I am just putting in tons of miles and spending hours every day doing what I love. It hurts in a very, very good way. I'm not afraid!

It doesn't matter what goes on in your head. You tell yourself what to think! It doesn't matter what goes on in your life. Deal with it! An true athlete pours their heart and soul into training and racing. No matter how bad it hurts, or whatever setbacks you face, you gotta keep your eyes on your goal and never, ever lose focus. On race day, the win will go to the athlete who wanted it most last month, three months ago, last year. The athlete who planned, trained and raced according to plan all season long. The athlete who gave their all, every day, and not only trained but LIVED their sport. It's not just about training...every little thing you do either brings you closer to your goal or pushes you back. That's what's about to change in my life - I've always lived for the excitement in sport, looking for new ways to get an adrenalin rush. Never cared about recovery or anything like that. But I want to see how far I can go in triathlon, and I am willing to commit to whatever it takes. I have a ton of support from friends who want to see me in Kona. Also I'm living next door to an incredible ironman triathlete who is one day going to win the IM World Championships. How can I not want to pour everything into swimbikerun?

I am so glad that I'm still in school, albeit grad school. I have a much more free time than do most people living in the "real world" and of course I devote this time to training. I have to keep in mind that I am supporting myself, which means that my grades stay UP or else I lose my scholarship and have to take a second job. uggh, no way, so everyone please keep reminding me to focus on school. It's hard when I feel so much pressure to qualify for Kona already.

Like I've said before, I am incredibly blessed. I don't know why, but I *know* that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I've always felt at home wherever I've lived, but it's never been like this. THANK YOU to all my friends and fellow athletes who brighten my day with a smile or a few words. It gets really lonely with all the reading and research I do, and I appreciate all the random encounters and funny texts more than I can say ;)

Sometimes a girl just needs to run...

I don't think I've mentioned this much here, but I've been really sick lately. NO idea what's been up with my body but finally everything is getting better. Training is ON!!! Six weeks 'till the NYC marathon and 10 'till Ironman Arizona....I could not be more excited or ready to trash myself on a daily basis to get where I want to be :D

Anyway, after nearly a month of sickness/something after IM Louisville, I had a GREAT training day today. Which is weird, 'cause Saturday I went for a short ride and barely hung on for an hour. I was exhausted, mentally and physically. But today was completely different. I started my run out at Buffalo Springs Lake (love that place, can't ya tell?!), ran a loop then headed out to Ransom Canyon. Found a farmroad I liked and just kept going. I felt strong and fast, only stopped 'cause I wanted to get a swim in before the pool closed for the day. According to mapmyrun I got in a full 23 miles, and I wasn't even tired. YES, finally!!! I really think that running can cure just about anything, if not the body then the mind for sure. There's nothing quite like running, it's just so natural and relaxing. I am in love...

The swim was great, held a tempo pace for 6000 and again, didn't want to stop. But the lifeguards made me... :(. lol

After that I jumped on my bike for a quick spin and called it a day. Ahh, finally a full day of strong sessions and I even have energy left over. I ate a deconstructed smoothie for dinner (wanted the ingredients but not a cold dinner) which was basically a banana-protein powder pudding-like concoction, and a salad (all my smoothies are made with romaine, love it!). Then I worked on some assignments for a bit, tossed fish and veggies in the slow cooker for lunch and dinner tomorrow, and now I'm about to hit the sack. I SHOULD fold some laundry first though...

Tomorrow is a busy day so I'm gonna start bright and early. Well early anyway, not necessarily bright. A short tempo run, longish steady swim and 4hr ride are on tap. Also two classes and TONS of errands. But I have energy for it all! This is so so exciting :)

I really appreciate all my friends for bearing with me these past few weeks, I know I wasn't as chipper as I usually am. Sorry :( Just know that I am back and ready for some fun! Hopefully next weekend I can act like a "normal" college student, whatever that is ;) THANK YOU to all my awesome family and friends...you make my life so beautiful :) :) :)

The Beauty of HTFU

Today was one of those days where I had to rely on my mind rather than my legs. Since I've been sick the past few days, I decided not to race the Branson 70.3 this weekend. That was a tough decision because my friend Heath Pennell was racing and I was really looking forward to hanging out with him and Jenn. But I'm happy with my decision. I could have raced, sure, but no way would I have posted a decent time and after Louisville I just couldn't have another bad day. Plus I know from experience that if I race when I am sick, I get really REALLY worse for the next few days/weeks, and with tons of assignments due this week no way can I afford that. So instead of racing, I decided to take a few days easy and get back to training today.

Friday was an easy 2.5hr ride, and Saturday was a 12-mile tempo run and a swim. Normally I would be going nuts wanting to do more, but those workouts just zapped all my energy. I spent most of the weekend sleeping :P

Anyway, today I had a longish brick workout and a swim on schedule. 4hr ride, 2hr run and a 5K swim. Since I still felt a bit weak I was kind of nervous starting out, especially because I didn't get started 'till late morning 'cause of church. The ride actually went quite well. I explored some new roads, and got some interval training in when a German Shepherd decided he liked my calves. Yi! At least I was on my bike and not running... I rode around Ransom Canyon and Buffalo Springs Lake on my way back, and just looking at the sparkling water and the walls of the canyon made me smile. So beautiful! The prairie dogs were out too. I love those cute little guys :)

The hard part was the run. I was bonking pretty bad during the last 15 miles of the bike 'cause I ran out of water and forgot to bring fuel with me (typical, unfortunately). And of course I forgot to bring money. So when I got off the bike I was out of energy and my legs were toast. You know the feeling - when you're not quite up to speed, you're just missing that *spark* and everything seems much harder than usual. I downed some Poweraid (still trying to get used to that stuff) and hauled my sorry butt out to the car for the drive to the trails @BSLT. Still feeling awful, I called my boyfriend hoping for some motivation, but he was still at work. Up to me! It's hard to describe exactly what I was feeling...just low motivation, nausea, achy muscles, pounding head; small things but combined they were taking their toll.

But it's times like these that you find out who you really are. There is definitely something to be said for being smart and resting when you need to, but other times you have to get out there no matter how you feel and prove to yourself that you CAN do this, thank you very much. That way when you're racing and everything seems to be going wrong, you can look back on times like these and know that you are strong enough to make it through.

So I started to run, and the first few miles were as awful as I thought they would be. But then I remembered a lecture that I've given myself more than a few times: that no matter how bad something may seem, there is beauty in it. I started to lose myself in the run, just enjoying the big blue sky, the beautiful scenery, the rocky, hilly trails...before I knew it I was having the time of my life! I could still feel the pain in my legs, my pounding head, the chills and slight nausea, but they just didn't matter anymore. I even was able to pick up the pace a bit. This run was not nearly as pretty as my tempo workout of the day before, but it was beautiful in its own way. I ended up running 16 miles, which is more than I thought I had in me today.

I was one happy girl jumping into the pool after that run :) Didn't have a great swim but that's okay 'cause the focus was on the bike/run.

In the end, I had a great mental workout. I'm not sure how much benefit my legs got out of it, but that part doesn't matter. One can never have enough lessons on mental toughness; in a race the mind works harder than the body I think. The only way to teach yourself to be strong is to BE strong. And that can be a lot of fun! Just look on the bright side, and never forget that there is ALWAYS a bright side. Smiling makes everything better.

In case you're wondering, I am going to take an easy day tomorrow to recover from whatever damage I did to myself today. Longish swim and an hour spin on my bike. I don't mind easy days when they're directly following tougher days.

So that's that! Now it's time to get back to the books...and the coffee, unfortunately. I've tried to switch to tea but sooo not working. If you have any tips for staying alert without ingesting copious amounts of caffeine, let me know! And yes, I am sleeping as much as I can ;)

Blessed

Right now I'm taking a break from reading while I write this and nom on one of the best lunches I have ever made. I just sliced an eggplant, a zuchinni and a red onion and grilled them in my increasingly awesome indoor grill. Then I layered the veggies with cooked lentils, marinara and herbed goat cheese, and heated it in the microwave. The oven would be better but what can I say, I am your typical lazy college student when it comes to stuff like that ;). Anyway, the mix is incredible. Try it!

But this has nothing to do with what I want to write about. Today I was on the way back home from a great mini tempo run and a strong swim workout when I decided to stop for a latte and people-watch for a bit. While I relaxed in the coffee shop, I could not help thinking about how blessed I am. I think sometimes I complain too much about how hard it is to balance ironman/ultramarathon training with full-time grad school. It's tough, sure, but how lucky am I that I am able to do all this? There are SO many people in this world who would trade places with me in a heartbeat.

Why do I get to live this life? I get to wake up in my adorable little house, run and swim (almost) to my heart's content, and sip a delicious if way-overpriced latte while I relax and just enjoy life. I get to study at an incredible university and learn from the best. I get to read a wide variety of intellectual books and discuss them with like-minded students and friends. I get to research topics that interest me and tell people all about them in my papers.

I get to swim, bike, run and race the sport(s) I love, all over the country and sometimes out of it too. I get to see what life is like in different places. I get to meet incredible people and hear their stories, and listen to the advice of people who are happy to share their wisdom and talk with me about the things they have seen and heard in their lifetimes.

I get to experience the love of family and friends...this is by far the most important. My family has done so much for me and I am more grateful than they know. My friends love and support me no matter how weird I can be sometimes ;) My incredible boyfriend loves me with all his heart and will for the rest of our lives...one day people will wake up and realize that love is the most important thing in the world. People spend forever trying to be happy, but they just don't get it. You don't need anything but other people to have everything in the world.

Life is precious and all of us take it for granted. Yesterday one of my friends was hit by a car while riding his bike...something we do every day and he could have been gone from this earth in a split-second. He's okay, thank God. Another friend was in a car accident the same day...his car went of the road and rolled, but he's just fine. But it doesn't always work out that way. Cherish every second we live 'cause life is shorter than we realize and it can end in a flash. Make the most of every opportunity and don't hold back...love everyone, don't hold grudges, experience everything you can. I'm pretty sure that there will be mountain climbing, ultrarunning, sky-diving and all that in Heaven, but who knows? lol...seriously though, you only get one life to live...if you're reading this you're living that life now. If you don't like what you do or who you've become, don't waste one more second: change what you do, or who you are. Yes you can do that.

There's nothing more tragic than looking back on your life at the end of it all and being filled with regret. Right now, make sure that you are living the life you want to live, and if you're not than do something. Look in the Bible if you don't know how to get started.


...well I didn't anticipate the direction this went but you gotta roll with what's in your heart. I hope that you all are loving life and living it up! Have a great day :)

Exhaustion and Acorn Squash

And grilled asparagus, and quinoa-kidney bean salad, and cauliflower soup...since I have so much reading to do tonight I am cooking while I am at it! Oops..think the quinoa is burning. Hang on.

Nope, but almost. Just turned off the burner and am letting it sit there and soak up the remaining water. I love quinoa! And my new george forman grill too. I figured out why it was marked down 70% though...the lid is crooked. I tried to fix it, but no go. It works great though, so awesome to have this thing!

Anyway... I don't think there's really a point to this post. Like the title says, I am exhausted. And eating acorn squash...haha but the exhaustion is something I knew would hit eventually. Undergrad was hell, with the Corps and triathlon and school. Just didn't work! But now, sans Corps, I am doing better. Each week I read 5-6 books and write a paper or three. Nothing big, and most of it is on my own time. That leaves plenty of space for training, but the catch is that training makes me really tired. Really? Who woulda thought...

It goes like this: I think to myself okay, I have a four hour ride, 2 hour run, done three hours before class. Plenty of time to start that next textbook, reread my book report and post to that online discussion board. I get back, nom on one of my awesome green smoothies, and...stare at that paper with bleary eyes for the better part of an hour before realizing the epic waste of time. Post to the discussion board, force myself to polish the paper and trudge off to class. Manage to not only stay awake, but look bright-eyed, bushy-tailed and just thrilled to discuss medical malpractice in 17th-century London. Get back from class and try to get a start on the next textbook before passing out with my head on the table. Drag myself to bed, set the alarm for 3AM so I can get a start on that book before swim practice at 6AM. This is just an example, but you get the idea. I know how much easier it would be to ease up the training, but I will not! I WILL make this work :D

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my life. And don't worry Mom, I know I can't afford to lose this fellowship so I will focus on my studies and get everything done to "A" standards. I love my classes, and most of the books I have been assigned. It's just gonna be tough to fit it all in...glad I don't have papers to grade just yet!

Ironman Louisville

Okay okay, fine! I will write this race report. No fun, at all. I had a GREAT time in Louisville, don't get me wrong, but coming so close to winning my AG and getting that Kona slot...missing all that hurts more than I have let on. I have gone back and analyzed every bit of my race, trying to find places where I could have pushed harder, raced smarter, done this not that. But in the end I realize that it DOESN"T MATTER. I know I give my best during the event and second guessing myself won't do me any good. I am optimistic about '11 for sure; I will be focusing solely on triathlon (with the exception of a few ultras during the off-season) so I should be in top form at the races. A new experience for sure! haha. But I digress...

Here's the rundown:

Swim:the swim start at Louisville is a time-trial start; athletes form a really, REALLY long line and jump off the dock one after another, with perhaps a half-second in between. I must say that I prefer the washing-machine like effect of the usual mass IM start better though...that just seems like part of the experience! The water was filthy but the lake was beautiful. Swimming through the sunrise, under a bridge, around a cute mini-island in the middle of the lake; so pretty! I loved it. My swim time was 1:08 which is slow for me. I think this is 'cause I had to battle through all the slower swimmers who had positioned themselves at the front of the line to ensure that they made the swim cutoff. But this resulted in a massive traffic jam when the faster swimmers caught up! Oh well, these things happen.

Bike: Oh, the bike. Right after I got on my bike I knew something was wrong. My position was way off and my quads were cramping like crazy...maybe it was the fact that my seat had fallen all the way down! Felt like I was riding a little kiddy bike where your knees come up to your nose. I could not find any bike support to save my life - asked at the aid stations, penalty tents, know one knew! Finally around mile 30, the only bike support guy I'd see all day came by and he raised my seat for me. But before I'd had a chance to try it out he sped off! The seat was wayyy too high; my knees were locking out at each downstroke and I had no power. Worst feeling ever! But there was nothing for it; I just sucked it up and rode on. The only other issue I faced was the insane heat; I heard that it got to the high 90's by late morning and stayed that way. Knowing my stomach's inability to process solids in the heat, I stuck with poweraid and a few pieces of banana. This left me seriously underfueled but I still think I made the best decision here. On a good note, the bike course was absolutely gorgeous! Rolling hills, beautiful scenery, oh man my favorite IM bike course for sure.

Run: ahahaha I started the run feeling the worst I've ever felt. Usually I am excited to start my favorite event, but this time my whole body was sore from the awkward bike position, and though my legs felt golden I wasn't able to summon the usual energy, and just started to plod along. Don't get me wrong, I tried my best, but it just wasn't there. Again, I couldn't hold down solids and stuck with water, poweraid and orange slices. I could tell that I was bonking big time, especially during the latter half of the race, but what's a girl to do? I really need to get my stomach issues figured out. During ultras I can eat anything, but during faster efforts it's like my stomach shuts down and won't absorb anything. Grrr.

But again there is a bright side! I saw Bree Wee and Hillary Biscay, two of my heroes, on the course and it just made my day. Especially seeing Bree with a smile on her face towards the end, and Hillary, who wasn't having the best day, cheering her on. These girls just LOVE what they do and boy it makes me smile to know that you can race triathlon as a job and still absolutely love it. Maybe....Limo? What do ya think? Haha I believe that my future lies in ultramarathon, but still...

Anyway I finished in 11:38 and though this was NOT what I was going for, I will take it. At the awards ceremony I heard that 19% of the racers did not finish. That is nuts! All day I saw people literally riding off course and crashing, or falling down on the run. It was crazy and I must admit, a bit scary. Must have been the heat? But considering the tough conditions I am pleased (ish) with my performance and I am finally beginning to get over the "coulda shoulda woulda" phase. I am super excited about the rest of my season. In two weeks I am racing the Ironman 70.3 Branson, with my good friend Heath and his awesome family :) Then it is off to NEW YORK CITY for the marathon, and next up is IM Arizona. Now that race will be the best yet! I get to reunite with Dan and Mary Beaver (I think I will devote an entire post to that crazy awesome couple soon) and experience the race that I have been longing to try for the past two years.

So that's that! IM Louisville in the books, altogether a great experience and filled with awesome (and not-so-awesome!) memories. I am recovered and stoked to get back at it! Bring it on, grad school...